A dream is a wish

California Day 6: The Happiest Place on Earth.

I'm one of those people who love Disneyland. It's not necessarily the rides that get me excited, it's the pure brilliance of the atmosphere. How someone like me who notices aesthetic flaws cannot find a one. It's the awesome musicians you can listen to if you know where to look. The faces of happy kids everywhere, and the understanding nod to the parents of the not so happy kid. Only one day in Disneyland is almost painfully short. But it was still good fun.

We participated in the Day of Service Promotion, so mine and Jerm's tickets were free this day. Frankie was/is too young to participate, but they still gave him a button so he wouldn't feel left out.

As to be expected, Frankie thoroughly enjoyed the Haunted Mansion. It's currently Nightmare Before Christmas-tized, which I prefer because it's less gory this way. We hit this side of the park in the morning, and for whatever reason it did not get busy over there until lunchtime, we nearly walked onto every ride we went on. 

Tigger and Pooh. I know the character pictures are the total cliche, but I love them, and I love remembering how excited Frankie was to see all his buddies.

Pirates Lair/Tom Sawyers Island.

I couldn't resist the comparison. I think I might make Frankie sit here and take a picture on every trip to Disneyland from now on. He'll love that when he's 14.

There were adults on this trip, I promise! Here we are having a lazy moment while the children ran wild on the island with minimal supervision.

While we were waiting for the Jedi Training show to start, I got these great pictures of Frankie making faces at me and wearing my hat. He was all stoked to try and be chosen to be in the show, then when the people came out and actually started choosing kids, he wanted nothing to do with it.

Jerm said Frankie was NOT a good driver.

One of the main things Frankie wanted on this trip was to see Buzz, and have Buzz salute him. I was worried that seeing Buzz would not be possible. I even tried to wrangle it out of an employee when he would next be coming out. As luck would have it, I saw Buzz right as he was walking to his designated photo spot, I yelled to Jeremy, who was kind of far from me, and he came over with Frankie. We were the 3rd ones in line. Woot. Frankie was somewhat intimidated by how big Buzz actually was, but in the end warmed up to him. Having this work out so well honestly gave me some sort of second wind that day. I had just started to feel very worn out before it happened.

Frankie got his second wind in the form of a nap in the stroller. He actually fell asleep staring at the box of Toy Story Figurines that he spent the rest of his money on, and he must have had sweet dreams of them because he slept for 1.5 hours. 

After Frankie fell asleep we broke from the group. For some of that time we were with my parents, and Hunter who didn't want to go the the Tiki Room. I confess it's been years since I've been to the Tiki room. We hit the penny arcade, where the men-folk had a grip challenge competition. I am proud to say Jeremy won, sorry Daddy.

Later, as the masses were lining up for the parade, we took Frankie to Toon Town, and to see Mickey at Mickey's house. I highly recommend going to these places during the parade. We had the run of the place, Mickey's house was almost a bit eerie so empty. And we still got to see the end of the parade as we were walking out.

Later we had another bit of luck and also saw Mickey in his Halloween costume.

I was supposed to be in this picture too, but my Father was having an extremely difficult time with our camera, despite me walking over to help him several times. To avoid causing a riot I finally ran over and just took one of my boys.

Smile

California trip Day 3: Sea World

It's kind of my fault we went to Sea World. Second only to Halloween for Frankie is Sea Animals. Jeremy and I talked about it, and really felt like we would regret not taking him to Sea World while we were so close. Everyone obliged and joined us.

But I must say, if you're used to the standard of Disneyland, Sea World is quite the let down (and really not much cheaper!) Plus they try a bit too hard to be inspiring.

We did enjoy ourselves though. We hit all three shows first thing in the morning, and it was HOT. By the time we got to Shamu, the last show, Frankie was pretty much done. We sat somewhat close to the front and told him we might get splashed. We did NOT get splashed, and he had a meltdown from the disappointment.

Lunch was soon after, however, and with every bite I could see him getting happier.

I think Frankie's favorite part of the day was going through the shark tunnel. He bought a tube of sharks with his own money at the gift shop. He wanted to leave after buying them, because we told him he couldn't open them until we left.

The girl with the ponytail does not belong to us.

 The day before, this is the kind of fish that Jeremy caught. Frankie is a more compliant model then Jeremy.

The last stop of the day was the little playground. Mayzie was a good sport and played with Frankie until she was exhausted. 

New Buzz Lightyear jammies we brought, ready for California Adventure the next day!



Love is spoken here

Frankie on the Blue Couch

A 3-part Retrospective

Part I:

The first time Jeremy held my hand, that was pretty much it.

We were sitting on the blue couch next to each other, talking to our friend Randy (who I don't think had any idea.) Jeremy started out tickling my arm. I'm a sucker for this, it's how my family used to help me relax and go to sleep when I was little. I knew he would hold my hand. I knew it would be instantly complicated. But for the first time I decided I didn't care, and I let him.

A few weeks later, we had figured out the complications. 

And we said I love you for the first time to each other on the big blue couch. October 16th, 2002.

8 years ago.

(Best. Bed hair. Ever.)

Part II:

6 months ago I lay on the big blue couch. We watched conference. I watched Jeremy take care of Frankie. I clung to my hospital mug (courtesy Frankie's birth) and drank a lot of water. I searched for some comfort in the talks. 

I braved Easter Dinner. Later that night Daddy came over, he and Jerm gave me a Priesthood blessing. I laid on the couch, not well enough to sit up. The blessing gave me an inkling. I wasn't told I would get better right away, I was told it was time to go listen to some doctors. And so go we did, the very next day.

We returned a week later, and the blue couch continued to be my home for a few weeks. Many a sleepless nights, frustrating days, and encouraging hours on the blue couch. I had a certain way I would set myself up in the corner. It was an accomplishment worth telling everyone when I started getting up by myself to go the bathroom and such after only a few days home.

I would come down at night when I couldn't sleep, lay on the couch, and turn on the BYU channel. I remember sometimes it helped, and sometimes it made me discouraged. I would ask myself "how am I going to be a good Mother if I can't even get up off this couch?"

Looking at it now, it wasn't that long at all. A blip on the radar, really.

But when you're in the middle, sometimes it feels endless.

(Re-enacting the big race while watching Cars)



Part III:

Today there was a moment, a short one, mind you, where we all snuggled on the blue couch together and watched conference. Jeremy was supposed to have a clinical today, but they sent him home.  So we were blessed with that moment.

I printed out coloring pages for me and Frankie. I colored on and off all day. Frankie colored for a few minutes.

This conference was beautiful, and for me, it made everything seem so simple.

My favorite line, and I'm afraid I didn't take proper notes so I'm not sure who the speaker was, but he said something like (speaking of Christ) "If He were next to you: would you think it, would you say it, would you do it?"

Would I?

I like to hope that if Jesus Christ visited our home, I could feel comfortable enough to invite him to sit on the big blue couch.

I could tell him that I kneeled next to it as a child to say family prayer, and that now my own child kneels there. That even though it's worn, tearing in places, the recliner is broken, it stains if you look at it wrong and it consumes toys and remotes with a voracious appetite... plus it's very, well  - blue - we love it. We love all of our modest furniture and our little home, but most of all we love the feeling that is here when we do the simple, right things.

That feeling, that spirit, that faith - is what keeps us going. And it's why I'm happy, always happy, if I just remember. I'm grateful for the blue couch, and the million other little things in my life, that help me remember.

Life's no fun without a good scare

Frankie's party was a little early this year, trying to make things work with Jeremy's new schedule. Who doesn't love Halloween in August?

Frankie helped me make his cake, the haunted house is a Wilton Kit. (sweet)

The idea to make "creepy cupcakes," and a few of the other activities we did, come right

out of one of his favorite bedtime books:

Coudouroy's Trick or Treat.

Frankie was so excited about his ghost costume, and was even good about trying it on while I was making it. But at the party he wouldn't put it on until the treasure hunt, and then he didn't keep it on long after that. I never got a decent picture. But I think it will appear again for Halloween proper.

Please note Jarek's tail with his Avatar costume. Just because he wanted a tail.

On the way home Frankie said "My party was just what I wanted!"

(Cue Mom with happy heart.)

Final Notes for the record:

-After our shopping trip for things for his party, he took everything and set it up display-style in the living room

-When we got our Halloween decorations out of the attic the night before the party, Frankie's life was good. Seriously, we probably could have stopped there he was so excited. The decorations are now up in my house, MUCH earlier then usual. I hope by the time Halloween is over he's ready to part with them

-He helped me put together all the prizes for the treasure hunt, and he wanted all the favor bags to actually have names written on them. He also made sure that only the girls got pink and purple stretchy animals

-Thanks to family for helping set up, and keeping things rolling, especially Kaitlyn for constructing the black cat game

-I am not proficient in fake spider web stretching, good thing Alison is

-Of all the things to forget, I forgot the candles and something to light them with. Laurie did an emergency run, so things happened a bit askew, but Frankie didn't care

-Nick and Alison got Frankie transformers. It took Nick and Sam a good half hour to transform Bumblebee into his car self. The box says ages 5 and up. I fear the day Frankie wants my help with them (but I know he'll love them when he figures them out)

-Frankie tells everyone he played "the Mommy game" at his party.

-Each child had an individual clue for the treasure hunt, with a spooky twist to it

-He is still saying thank you for his party and all of his new toys in his prayers. It makes me glad that he is grateful and appreciative

I loved seeing Frankie's happiness with it all. Just look at his eyes in the pictures. I loved feeling so well and being able to get everything ready. (You should have seen me kneading that fondant.)

Most of all I love my boy. My four year old boy.

How to save a life

Today the amazing Doctor Carlos declared my Lupus to be in full remission.

(!!!!!)

Have I told you about Carlos? (He insists we communicate on a first name basis.) His wife has Lupus, too. He has a real interest in and understanding of the disease. He's only been in town for a short time. It's such a blessing that he's been able to help me. Today he kept saying "I'm just so happy!"

The medication taperings begin.

I'm optimistic that I will still feel well, if not better, as the meds cut down. My hair is growing back, and soon my face won't be swollen.  I will be healthy and beautiful, or something like that. Heh.

I read through my blog archives a bit last night - I am so much more at peace now then I was a year ago. I have learned so much and grown so much this year. All said and done, I wouldn't change it. Today I feel excited for the future, not afraid.

It's a good feeling.

Happy each day

Right now:

-Frankie is singing in the bathtub
-My house smells like fresh air from the open windows, clean laundry, and freshly showered Jeremy (the last is my favorite)
-I'm relieved to find out that Jerm will be able to get some rest most of the time on his night shift clinicals
-There's a neat little pile of folded towels on the floor - courtesy of my son
-I'm excited for this Saturday, I get to draw from a live model for the first time in years

How's your Thursday morning?

I start to complain when there's no rain

We are on the cusp of new things at our house.

Jeremy went to an orientation yesterday - and got the first idea of just how much time he's going to be giving to the paramedic program. It's a lot. I really love my husband, and I know I'm a wuss, but it gives me a knot in my stomach to think of giving up more time with him.

I'm a month away from beginning the taper of my medications. I'm excited to be rid of the side effects. I'm scared of getting sick again.

I've reached a really, great, peaceful place about our family. Frankie is wonderful. Frankie is all I need right now. I was at Target with him, and walked by a lady trying to deal with and unruly young child, a baby, and a cart full of stuff. Frankie was playing contentedly in my cart and letting me figure out my coupons. And I thought, you know what - I've only got one child - so I might as well enjoy what that encompasses. We're going to party. And take naps together. And go places without needing a diaper bag.

You kiss your baby's toes, I'll watch my 4 year old put his shoes on his toes by himself.

(For now anyway.)

The giraffe raincoat, courtesy Aunt Laurie. In the summer rainstorms of a few weeks ago.

Have I ever told you how much we love a good St. George summer thunderstorm? (Yes.) We got 3 days worth. Roll in, pour, sunshine, rainbows, SMELL, roll out, repeat. It healed my soul. It really did.

Frankie has been asking for more rain ever since.