Jeremy, Sarah, Frankie, and Simon on the Adoption Journey: So much to say

I'm not quite sure why I haven't been blogging much. Part of it is I think I take blog hiatuses, like some of my friends have, but for me it's an unconscious decision. The other part has been simply not having or making the time for it.

Some of my time credits have gone to reading Little Dorrit by Dickens. I had never even heard of it before. When we had Tayden and Jarek with us at the library one day, I ran over to see if I could find a book for me, and grabbed it on a whim. I liked it, a lot.

I wish more time had been going towards creating. I do have a few things I need to put up on the old art blog. And start keeping my goals again.

Work's been busy. Which is always good. We like having groceries, so work is good.

More time credits go to working on adoption stuff. Last week we finished all our home study questions and the rest of our pre-qualifying stuff. We have interviews soon. Then I'm assuming our home inspection. We need to get all our pictures and such ready for our profile. Some days I am really excited about it, almost how I felt when I was pregnant. Some days I'm overwhelmed by it. Some days I wonder if anything will even come of it. Some days I sit at church surrounded by other people's babies and I almost start to feel claustrophobic, because I don't want to feel sad. Then I try to contrive ways for us to move to a ward where there aren't 100 babies. I'm quite the bundle of emotions.

The craziest thing about it is I feel different. Not different from other people necessarily, but different from the me I was a few months ago. There have only been a few times in my life that I have felt that distinct change: The summer before my senior year of high school. A few years later when I got over my first broken heart. After Frankie was born. When I consigned myself to the fact that I really was sick. And now again. It has already been so mentally, spiritually, and emotionally taxing and educational. I almost can't think about what is still ahead. But no matter what I'm feeling that day I know it's right. It really is.

If I ever hear someone joke about "just adopting" instead of having to go through pregnancy and labor, as I have in the past, I think I will have to bite my tongue and walk away.

....

I wasn't really intending to unload all of that, because the real reason I wanted to blog tonight was to catch up a bit. At least to the end of June. So here she goes:

Way back at the end of May Alison and I planned that class reunion. I liked this picture of us, and wanted to post it. I can't tell you how relieved I was feeling at this point.

I wanted to dedicate a whole post to the tadpoles, but obviously it's not happening so I'll do it here. At the beginning of May, Frankie and I saw a puddle full of tadpoles in the wash (Utah speak for a run-off stream) by our house. I decided to do some research and then I took Frankie to gather some to raise at home. We have kept them in dollar store pans on our back patio. The one's in the metal pan got fried one day when their water was low and they were left in the sun. Tears from Frankie, guilt from me. We moved them to the shade, and got a few replacements.

So far we have let 5 frogs go, and 2 have made their own way in the world. It has been pretty cool to watch, and it's crazy how tiny they are when they become frogs. There are only 2 tadpoles left outside.

The little friends. At first they kept their water really clean. Now, not so much. Not sure why.

I think this was our second frog.

Letting a frog go on a Sunday Afternoon:

Also at the beginning of May, Frankie finally became interested in writing his ABC's. He's getting better and better, and will often ask me to spell something for him to write. This day he had written the whole alphabet on the dry erase board on his easel. (Starting at the top left is still a little lost on him.)

I think when he is older Frankie will remember summer time in St. George as cousin time. He asks every day if and when he gets to see cousins. We have watched Tayden and Jarek at our house some, which is very fun, and so good for Frankie. On this day, we had an adventure trying to find a sandy riverbank we had heard of off the Santa Clara river. When we went to the location, they had bulldozed the sandbar and were making some sort of road in the river bottom. I'm still baffled by it. So we went to the Ivin's reservoir instead.

These are from one of my Mom's little water parties in her back yard.

Frankie, Jarek, and Tayden got to attend a fun pirate day camp in June. It was 4 days long. They got to make pirate costume wear, sword fight, make maps, meet Jack Sparrow, and who knows what else. Frankie enjoyed it. Sometimes he talks about it like he will be going back again soon, and I have to burst his bubble. Maybe we'll look into doing it again next year.

Frankie really loves our cats. Lately he has been begging for another, which is mostly my fault because we've ended up at Petco on the shelter adoption day a few times. He leaves with genuine tears because he wants to take a kitten home. I almost start feeling tempted, until I knock myself into the reality of the fact that I have no desire to have THREE cats. In the mean time, he can pretend.

And love on the ones we have.

Almost every nap time and bed time, Knightley comes to visit Frankie. Knightley really likes to lay on top of you when he's in snuggle mode. For a long time Frankie wanted nothing to do with it, but nowadays if Knightley won't lay on him he is sad. He loves falling asleep to the sound of the kitty purr.

Jeremy was in Vegas for clinicals over Father's Day weekend. Frankie and I had a fun, productive day on Saturday. We changed out both air filters in the RAV (I admit a man who was delivering appliances helped me with one of them. The online instructions were a little vague.) And then we fixed the downstairs toilet and replaced the toilet seat. It is so nice to have those things done, and it was sort of a happy Father's day to Jerm that he didn't have to do them himself.

We also made tool boxes at home depot, and Frankie painted them up for Father's Day presents. I love his smile in this picture. It has current computer wallpaper status.

The last weekend in June we made it up to the cabin for the first time in 2011. It was a bit of a last minute decision to go. Nick and Ali, and Sam and Aubree were kind enough to join us. It is SO nice to be up there, out of the heat. I didn't get many pictures, but here's a few.

Yes, there was still a snow bank. What a crazy weather year.

Frankie and Kennadi in the loft. Frankie had a complete come apart the first time he climbed the ladder, but then decided it was all good later. I think Kennadi even thought herself afraid for a minute, and she's generally fearless. Silly children.