Purple Mountain Majesties

We spent the 4th of July at the cabin, the long weekend also doubled as a family reunion. It was beautiful, green and cool. Did I mention cool? Brian Head puts on a really nice fireworks display, and we go in hats and blankets. Pretty different from St. George.

Some pictures from our little jaunt through the woods by our cabin.

 

The girls on the jaunt. All my sisters, my Mom, and my sister in law Jessica.

When we were growing up, and having family reunions in Scofied, singing around the campfire was one of our favorite traditions. We got to do it this year with this new generation of kids. Only problem is they don't know most of the songs. Classics like "Hang down your head Tom Dooley." Which really doesn't have great lyrics. But we love it somehow anyway.

Everyone likes the smore's. Even if they don't like the songs.

 

While cousin Kimberly was staying at my Mom's the week leading up the reunion, Frankie became quite attached to her. She literally had a cling-on. I hope she didn't mind too much.

 Here's the official patriotic dinner set up. We took a formal picture of everyone sitting, and my camera had a malfunction moment. This is the best I got.

The theme of this reunion was "Return of the Game." Chrissy and Ryan even made us great t-shirts. This theme was created because the foose ball table returned. We had it at the Scofield cabin, but it's been living in Laurie's garage for many years. It's back, with new parts and lots of lubed joints. It's a really nice table - the bars are heavy, I was informed by my Father that it's "tournament grade." It's something sports-like that I'm actually somewhat good at, due to the years of playing in my youth.

In fact, before this weekend, I had always beat Jeremy when we ran across a foose ball table somewhere. But Jeremy spent a lot of time playing my brother Jeff, and now Jeremy beats me as readily as Jeff does. Sadness. 

It's very entertaining to watch.

 My big brothers going at it. It's amazing the table survives.

There was also Rock Band available on the other side of the basement.

This is the whole crew, except for my Brother in law Brian. It was pulling teeth to get this picture, oh boy.  My child was the worst of all since he saw it fit to go HIDE while we were in the midst of gathering everyone. But we did it! We're wearing the matching shirts. I love my big, noisy family. And I love having the freedom to be together and do as we wish. It was a great 4th.

I lay myself down, to make it so

My favorite part of the day - on normal days like this where I hang out with Frankie all morning and work while he's napping (Should be working right now...) is laying by him for his nap. We read some stories and then snuggle a bit. Sometimes I fall asleep too. He loves for me to stay by him. I love that he wants me to. And lets be honest, I love that he still naps as well. I realize how lucky I am on this front.

Today I couldn't sleep, but I just sat staring at him. He's gorgeous. He makes my heart melt. He's going to be FOUR. I think of my nieces and nephews at four, and I realize that any amount of baby I'm still imagining in him is fully imagined. He's a little boy, a little man. He has a good heart and a sense of humor. He has attitude every now and then. But he is a great kid, through and through.

Last night at Target I was perusing the clearance racks in the baby section for any 4T size clothes to have on hand for the growing boy. It hit me that soon I will have no reason at all to be in the baby section, because I will be looking for size 4's and 5's.

And it's weird how little moments like that are what get me.

What's been most upsetting to me, if you haven't noticed, in the midst of all this sickness junk is the further delay, or possibility of no, future children for us. (We are still considering adoption, just trying to figure out if my illness and a few other things are going to be issues...) It's hard for me to wrap my mind around and make amends with. I look into 5 years away with no more babies and I can't see it.  I start having some sort of panicked identity crisis. What will I do while Frankie is in school? Commit myself to really painting and becoming a selling artist? Go back to school myself? See if they want me at the office?

The thing is I sincerely love being a mother. For me it is usually natural and joyful, even when it's hard I find satisfaction in it. (I do realize Frankie has been a pretty easy kid, maybe I wouldn't say that so readily otherwise.) It's not like it's only been my plan because it's what's expected - it's always been my plan because my heart longed for it.


Today it occured to me, while thinking of all of this, that half of my problem is how selfishly I'm looking at it. How much time I'm wasting being sad when I should just be enjoying my son and my husband and for heaven sakes - my good health right now.

Because in Fall of 2003 I couldn't straighten either arm. And they told me I had arthritis - and under St. George sun Mom and I both cried a few tears as we walked across the parking lot to go out to lunch. Because Mom said "after news like that, you should at least get lunch."

Because on Easter Sunday of this year I stared at the bowl of potatoes and knew I was too weak to lift them up and pass them. Nick did it for me. He had fear behind his eyes as he looked at me, and for some reason seeing that made me more frightened of being ill then I had ever been.

Because for months I couldn't get down on the floor to play with Frankie. He had to be reminded to hug me gently. And I couldn't pick him up when he fell down.

Today the arms are as straight as then can go. I can carry Frankie up the stairs. And I could throw that bowl of mashed potatoes. I should be doing more good in the world with all this strength, and I promise that I will. I hope you don't mind if I pine every now and then. I have this roaring baby hungry beast inside of me, but I'm trying to tame it. Right now my catch phrase "Until Tomorrow" is very appropriate. Because right now I'm not making any big plans. Just taking it a day at a time. A round of lab work at time. Swallowing one pill and vitamin at time.

No big plans for myself, anyway -

Jeremy however, has been accepted into the Paramedic Program. I really should mention that. I'm so proud of him. He's going to be brilliant. And I'm going to stay as healthy as I can for this next year so that I can support him through the 3 semesters which are supposed to be quite rigorous.

Hey wait, that sounds like a plan.

Until tomorrow, then. (Or, you know, soon.)

Give Said the Little Stream

So back in June, when it wasn't hotter then hades outside, Jeremy took up fishing again. He used to do a lot of it when he was younger, and has decided he finds it quite soothing.  

I got to have a girl's weekend at the cabin with my Mom, Sisters, and older nieces. It was fabulous. I took no pictures. Others did. They exist, should I ever be ambitious enough to take my flash drive over and procure some. There will probably not be a post on that, because it will be next year before I get the pictures. Just a rough estimate.

Jeremy took Frankie fishing the first time while I was gone that weekend. He only got a 1 second movie of Frankie with his first fish before the camera battery died. I've never tried to upload a video before - but it's

worth seeing because he's so cute. And I love the clothes that Jeremy picked out for him to wear.

 

A few weeks later we took a little evening family fishing trip to quail. This was Jeremy's first time going fishing and not even getting a bite. He was a bit disheartened. I'm afraid it's in my genes to be bad luck. There's a reason we don't even bother bringing me a pole along or buying me a license.

Frankie and I mostly took pictures and ate snacks.

  

Frankie is a huge fan of the lures in the tackle box. Which frightens me because a lot of them contain hooks.

 

We also went up and spent a night in the camper with Jeremy's parents in Pinevalley. It was the closest to officially camping Frankie has ever been. He liked chilling in his little camp chair around the fire, I wish I would have gotten a picture of him sitting there with his legs crossed over - like an old man. I was sick with a sinus infection, and Jeremy and I attempted to sleep on the "table bed." Between my hacking and the close quarters - we didn't sleep very well. But it was still really fun.

Frankie picked out this hat and the sunglasses when we stopped to get fishing stuff on the way out. (Read: Frankie's pet worms.) It was pure coincidence that he was already coordinated with the orange. The sunglasses just make me shake my head and smile, but he loves them.

We of course had to do some fishing too. Here's Grandma helping out.

And Grandpa telling fish stories. Mostly about power bait sandwiches. Frankie's favorite.